It’s day three of this little thing I call Reflection Week. I hope you’ve found the previous two questions useful as you review your 2018. If you need to catch up, click here for Day 1 and here for Day 2.
As I spend time reflecting, there is a thread keeps showing up. You know how you have a favored sweater, shirt or some other piece of clothing and it is just perfect? It’s easy to wear or maybe you feel your best in it; the stitching is perfectly sewn, it is your “go-to”. After some use, though, the threads can start revealing themselves, popping up here and there as you continue to stretch it out, wear it out, and put it on. This is kind of what I’ve been seeing…This thing, it’s not always there, but every so often it shows itself as time goes on. And to make sure nothing falls apart, I have to be careful to look for when it appears.
What is one thing you held tightly to that you gave over to God, allowing Him to use it and to reform you?
The ego does a frightful thing when it starts viewing life (and everything in it) from its distorted and personal point of view. Success. Accomplishment. Pride. If not kept in check, we begin moving out of a unhealthy motivation, which begins a spiral effect of chasing success and accomplishment that are based on worldly values. Our world-views become narrow, preventing us to see how we hinder ourselves, stunting our own growth. We begin to do and see everything from this kind of motivation. When I believe that I am only happy, worthy, safe —successful— if I have “these kinds” of friends, or if I reach “this position”, or if I influence “this many people”, or if I do “this much” for “these specific people”…I will be let down over and over and over again. I will be chasing, and chasing, and chasing some ideal that won’t likely ever come to fruition, and if it does I’ll likely find some new ideal to chase after.
It is a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute task of laying oneself down, surrendering to the work of the Holy Spirit and the will of God. It takes courage. It demands steadfastness. It requires awareness. This year, I repeatedly released my desire for things to look a certain way…More easily understood as control. It is easy to engage in situations and circumstances— to measure their success — on my terms, but then it just becomes about me, my ego.
Here’s the thing, if I determine that my spiritual and/or emotional health is based on any measure or ladder of success (successful ministry, successful relationships, accomplished Bible study, positional influence, etc), I am only living out of my own pride and ego, not out of the fullness and freedom that Jesus gives me. I will labor, and climb, and strive, without ever growing spiritually or emotionally. I might go through my whole entire life without yielding to the Holy Spirit and His work of sanctification in me, all because I chose the wrong measuring stick.
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV
The choice is mine. Will I choose to walk around with veiled-vision, blinding myself to the glory of the Lord? Will I choose to slow the Spirit’s redemptive, transformative work within me? Or will I surrender and participate? Jesus didn’t live, die, and rise for me to hold on to anything other than Him. This realization is both painful (I see the spaces where I have been measuring by “success”, holding on to anything but Jesus) and freeing (I’m reminded of the ways I haven’t, and of the things I can release, and how I’ve held so tightly to Him). The fact of the matter is this: I know it now. I know what I have been holding tightly to, and I know the rest I receive when letting it go, giving it over to God, and letting Him do with it what He wills.